The best relationship...

I am a very possessive kind of a person, not of things, not of belongings but of my dear ones. I always knew that marriage is a huge change and it will take away the most important person from my life... Though I was ready, but alas! i did not know I will keep missing that person so much, for so long...

My mother says you will also forget once you'll be married, i wonder how and i wish i do forget. He has taken care of me like a child, like a sister, like a friend and now suddenly he has stopped being even a friend let alone a brother!

He has a new set of people around him, new relationships to build, i understand that, but still somewhere I fail to justify his forgetting me. I know he cannot juggle between things, he has told me and I did pretend to understand it totally, but i don't :(

He thinks that I am an understanding adult! How has he forgotten how big a dumb I am!! Because it has always been him who guided me, always. Though I can for once understand that he is involved in his life, but I really fail to when I see him treating my younger cousins like he used to treat me!! I know I am elder sister of my cousins too but I don't know how to deal with sth that is inherent in me- possessiveness! I just can't see when he calls my cousin to crack a joke and not me, he pulls leg of my cousins and not mine! Please somebody tell me how to let go of this inherent problem that I have...

I wish I too get married soon, not because I want to but because I do not want to be hurt anymore. I know I am not the best of the sisters but he sure is the best brother! :)

Distance...

due to lack of time, i didnt really work on it... so here it is in exact order as it crossed my mind...

The smell of your skin
was still surrounding me
as you were going
to your abode and leaving me

The warmth of your touch
I still could feel
as i failed to make out
the dream from real

The sound of your breath
slow and deep
was awaking me
in my sleep

But alas! as you go
the merciless distance
takes you away from me
while I lie in a trance...

wat all do i like :)

hey this is my blog... i can write watever i want :P
so let me count wat all things i like a lot, its not in order of preference, its in order it comes to my mind...

-taking a hot water bath during temp<23'C after 11pm
-listening to my fav track when cool wind is blowing and i am walking
-going on long drives in an awesome mausam with nice tracks being played and wind playing with my hairs
-being close to nature
-seeing an infant smile
-feeling loved and cared for
-dancing with my heart when no1's looking
-geting into blanket which is already warm during winter
-being surprised on my bday
-watching my loved ones watching me
-waking up smiling when some1 strokes lovingly my cheeks and hairs
and many more...

you and me :)

A relationship: it is the smile when you see your loved ones after long, the tears in your eyes when you see them departing, the ache you feel when they are sad, the fear you feel when something's going wrong. It is the concern you have for their well-being, the extra-effort you make for their smile, the happiness you feel when you hear their laughter, the prayer you sing when you are unsure, the warmth you feel when they hug you, the love you see in their eyes...

A few lines...

I don't know if it is because i am big time vella person as of now or bec of the rainy seaon i wrote, here are a few lines by me

AUTUMN
after a long wait for his beloved
a lone tree on the river bed
to embrace the yellow spring to his bosom
sheds tears out of compassion

TRUST
the crison drops on the floor
is nothing but my love for u
as u tear to see wat runs in my veins
i wonder y ur trust i cudnt accrue
but i have no regrets,no qualms
as i get to die in ur arms in lieu

TEAR DROPS
the wind blows and dries my tears
the rain falls and hides them
if it is you who fail to see them
then may be that's how they mean to end

SADNESS
while walking down on the street
i saw happiness i saw grief
the laughters dissolved in the air
while the tears didnot seem to cease

Me!!!!

It’s been quite long now since i have been with me, a nice person to be with actually i can say :) well lemme tell u a few things abt shikha....

knowledge and perfection are the two things that she desires and occasionally makes efforts towards them, not a regular she is at anything!!! she is a quick learner and adapts easily but in few cases she finds herself unable to adjust no matter wat!!! !!! so far she has discovered that there are many things that make this world wonderful and equal is the no of things that make it detestable.... though more often than not avoids the latter, but one thing that she is sure of is that she would endeavour to tilt the balance towards the first one.... she loves to see beauty of nature and appreciates it out loud sometimes and silently at others, be it the rising sun, the beautiful tired reddish setting sun, the moon surrounded by infinite stars, the unfathomable talking ocean, ice-covered mountains, whispering air, smiling flower, a translucent small pretty leaflet or any of the conspicuous form of nature...
Apart from that she is as eccentric as sensible she seems, but the former her is known to a few of her close frnds... she dances when she feels like, music or no music, she sings at the top of her voice if she is in mood of, she dresses up at 2 in the morning and spends hours trying different dresses but if going out she can walk directly out of bed and that happens pretty often!! She always speaks her heart out if there is something good to say... very expressive she is!! If she loves someone, she always comes up with a reason to tell that someone that she loves him, if she respects someone she finds a way to express it, if she appreciates sth she makes sure to tell it...
She is free-willed but doesn’t hav qualms in following any1 she loves... she hates to be dominated but at times i hav seen her loving it!! If given a choice she’d shirk responsibilities but if given any she performs her duties to the best she can... she hardly cares what anyone thinks of her as long as she doesn’t value that someone...

My First Interview

Ah well, 15th Jan 2010 was the day of my first ever official interview.

Company: Infosys
Package: 3.25 (oops! one must not publicise one's package ;) )
Preparation: All prayers nothing else (it works all my atheist friends)

Since only this company didn't have any technical round my all hopes were set on it( preparation of CAT took me far away from all the technical subjects and i never knew i loved quant, di, va so much more than microprocessor!!). I work at crisis, always. Even placement couldn't wake me up from my slumber. And on 13th suddenly i realised, fish!!! I am just one day away and I dont even know how to answer "tell me about yourself" yet. So I started my HR interview preparation. Weird questions, funny questions, serious questions, bla bla questions, I tried to prepare all. Got them checked by Bhaiya and then rechecked by Papa. Well with Papa it was more like a mock interview ( Naaa more scary than the real one!! Now what do you expect if someone,who has taken interviews of a thousand people for posts way more higher and much more paying than this, would take mine??).
Praying and telling HIM(up there) that next one will come with GD and TI round, your headache will be doubled, so better get me into this one ONLY for your own benefit, I wont bother you again.

Then came the D-Day. A very long wait, longer ppt (but I really liked how it concluded with a salutation to Indian Army). And then Written Test (Heart beat: 150 per minute). For Infosys, it was the only screening round and I literally didn't prepare at all for this(Reason 1: Overconfidence, Reason 2: I didn't give myself time enough to prepare for it). And while the papers were distributing I wished if only this one time I did sth seriously!!!
Well, it went well... I was done in 20 min in first one of logical and left two questions deliberately because I thought there might be upper cut-off( well actually I wasn't in a mood of dividing a figure like 68.71 by 127.52). And the second one was eng, I tried to do it at my best speed too.

to be continued...